


Lloyd Allen, Podcast Extrodinare, Summer Knight, and General Pain in the Ass

by CassiBelievesInFaeries



Category: Dolls of New Albion, New Abilion: A Steampunk Opera, New Albion Radio Hour
Genre: Byron is a little shit, Faerie AU, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 14:59:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassiBelievesInFaeries/pseuds/CassiBelievesInFaeries
Summary: Lloyd Allen and Byron McAllister are creators of a podcast called "Lloyd and Byron's Fantastically Fantasy Podcast" when it comes to be Faerie Friday, Lloyd is thrown into the world of Faeries and magic.





	Lloyd Allen, Podcast Extrodinare, Summer Knight, and General Pain in the Ass

“BYRON!” Lloyd Allen, podcast extraordinaire shouted.

“Yeah, boss?” The snarky little prick in question asked.

Lloyd rushed over to Byron, black hair slicked back as always. His brown face in a scowl and his green eyes burning with fury. Lloyd Allen was pissed.

“I know you drugged my coffee again. But with what?!” Lloyd snapped at the shorter man.

Byron grinned, his pale skin turning paler. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief as he answered.

“Eh, just laxatives this time,” he made a show of checking his watch, “you’ve got around three minutes before you need a change of pants.”

Lloyd snarled and his stomach made a similar noise. Oh, that mother fucker.

“After I’m done with the laxatives again. We’ll start our podcast. I wonder how much more work we’d get done if you stopped drugging my coffee!” Lloyd snapped walking away.

Byron snickered and ran a hand through his bright red hair he’d inherited from his mother.

“Tick tock, boss!”

From the recording studio near Lloyd’s office in the radio station he worked out, there was, thankfully, a bathroom nearby.

~~~

“Hey, folks, and welcome back to Lloyd and Byron’s Fantastical Fantasy Podcast.” Lloyd announced in his, what he called “narrator voice”.

“We’ve gotta come up with a shorter name. And you have to put my name in front.” Byron whined.

“Whatever, Byron,” Lloyd said, his eye rolling almost audible, “anyways folks, it’s faerie Friday! You heard me, we’re dedicating an entire Friday to faeries. Well, at least podcast wise.” Lloyd announced, his enthusiasm evident.

Byron smirked more than usual. How interesting.

“Well, Lloyd, what story should we talk about? Are we gonna talk about m- the Seelie Queen, Constance O’Brien? Her lady, Priscilla? Her Knight, only known as 7285?” Byron asked, using his “announcer voice”.

“I was thinking we’d be talking more about the mythos surrounding the Seelie and Unseelie Court. But let’s start off simple for our audience, huh?” Lloyd said, nudging Byron’s side with his elbow.

Byron grinned and began speaking as if he was a faerie himself.

“Well, folks, in case you didn’t know the Seelie Court controls summer and spring, they’re typically benevolent and kindly. Sometimes they keep human as pets, like a dog. The Unseelie Court is exactly what it sounds like, they control winter and autumn, they’re real douches, like torturing each other,” Byron rambled before Lloyd cut him off.

“I notice you’re saying it like you believe in faeries. Do you?” Lloyd teased, smiling from ear to ear.

“Well, boss man, my home slice, bread slice, I believe in faeries so much I oughta be a faerie!” Byron announced, giggling.

Lloyd snorted and rolled his eyes. “So, oh great faerie believer, who’s in the Seelie Court? Or would you like to explain the hierarchy for both Courts too?” Lloyd asked, his snark almost in a physical form.

“Nah, you can do that.” Byron said, waving a hand.

“Alrighty folks, so listen up real close,” Lloyd said, his voice taking on a mysterious edge, “first off is the Mothers, I believe the Unseelie Court mama is Rachel somethin’ or other, and the Seelie Court mommy is Jaqueline O’Brien.”

“You would be very correct then, Allen.” Byron said, snorting at the usage of terms for mother.

“Alrighty, then we go down to the Queens. The Queen for Unseelie is…” Lloyd paused for dramatic effect, “Fay, ha-ha, get it, Fay as in Faeries? Clever on whoever was dying of the Black Death to come up with that one.”

“Back on track, my dude,” Byron reminded Lloyd.

“Oh, right. So, the Queen for the Seelie Court is… drumroll please,” Lloyd intoned.

Byron obliged the drumroll.

“Constance O’Brien!” He announced, spinning around in his chair and flourishing his hand.

“So, Lloyd just spun around in his chair and stuck a hand up,” Byron informed their audience.

Lloyd’s face went a dark red. “Whatever, so who are the lovely Ladies of the Unseelie n’ Seelie Court?” Lloyd snapped.

“Ah, I do believe the lovely Ladies are…Lloyd, can I get a drumroll?”

Lloyd slapped Byron upside the head instead.

Byron pouted as he continued: “Annabel McAllister is the Lady for the Unseelie, and the Lady for the Seelie is Pricilla McAllister, row, cat fight.”

Lloyd shook his head and jumped in.

“Now, there are the knights. It sounds exactly what it sounds like, they are the knights. As aforementioned- is, for the Unseelie is Jasper somethin’-or-other, and for the Seelie it’s simply known as 7285.” Lloyd informed their audience.

“The Unseelie and Seelie have a long withstanding rivalry. The Mothers, Queens, Ladies, and Knights all hate each other!” Byron informed, using a dramatic amount of sorrow in his voice.

“Wait a second, Byron,” Lloyd snapped, “we forgot the Seelie Queen’s Sidhe! The Narrator’s her name, eavesdropping’s her game.”

Byron rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. ‘Should we end it off here?’ He mouthed to Lloyd.

“Well, folks, this the end of faerie Friday, have a fantastically faerie Friday and don’t forget to support or Pateron so we can keep doing faerie Fridays, and our ramblings on every other day of the week! Well, folks, the end of episode 48 of Lloyd and Byron’s Fantastically Fantastic Podcast! I’m Lloyd Allen, radio announcer on 101.5 the Hero in my hometown, podcast extraordinaire.” Lloyd intoned.

“And I’m Byron McAllister, faerie enthusiast, Lloyd’s amazing cohost, although I do drug his coffee. I hope you’re all having a supernaturally amazing day! Oh, and if you do see ghosts, skinwalkers, wendigos, leprauchauns, cryptid, or anything supernatural, you can contact our Tumblr, the URL is…” Byron paused. He forgot the URL.

“FantasticallyFantasticPodcast, all one word, folks. Tell us hi! Tell Byron to stop drugging my coffee! You can also find us on Twitter using the same URL. Nifty, huh?”

“Bye-bye~!” Byron sang as he turned off the recording and began to upload it on YouTube.

“Our last one got 78 million views, how much do you think this one’s getting?” Byron asked.

“Ah, I’d bet around 100 million. Why don’t we announce it on Tumblr n’ Twitter?” Lloyd suggested.

“I call Tumblr!” Byron announced, taking out his phone.

Lloyd sighed and took out his own phone, opening Twitter and having trouble finding the button to write with.

‘Podcast 48 is done, folks! Find it on YouTube!! -L.’ The tweet read, nice and simple.

“Typical Lloyd,” Byron scoffed.

“Well,” Lloyd snapped, “what does yours say?”

“It says,” Byron snapped back, “hey world, what’s good? It’s Faerie Friday! Which means that we talk all about faeries! Tell us what you think of it and yell at us at the ask box! Love you, -B.” Byron stated matter-of-factly.

“Do we have any questions?” Lloyd asked, “’cause if we do I’m answering them!”

“Whatever, old man. We don’t have any asks. Just a bunch of paranormal stories. Oh! Here’s one from an anon.”

Lloyd’s interest was piqued.

“Byron,” Byron read, “why do you drug Lloyd’s coffee? Have you ever done it with somethings serious? With three question marks.”

“Well, you’ve never roofied me.” Lloyd muttered, rolling his eyes.

“I’m just gonna answer like this; no, anon, I’ve never done anything serious to Lloyd’s coffee. I kinda need this job for college credits.” Byron said.

“Nice to see where your loyalty lies,” Lloyd grumbled, rolling his eyes, “well, I better get home,”

“Whatever, old man, see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya. Say hi to your sixty cats for me,” Byron called as Lloyd stalked out.

“I DON’T HAVE THAT MANY CATS AND YOU KNOW IT!” Lloyd shouted.

Then he went down the alley he always short cut. Little did he know, a figure lurked around the corner. His bulky figure all clad in some odd type of armor that felt like fabric.

“I am Soldier 7285, it’s who I am, it is my life,” the soldier grumbled, in an attempt to psyche himself up.

**Author's Note:**

> SolDIER 7285 IT IS MY LI F E. Rip Lloyd tbh. Byron's not who he seems to be, Lloyd's going to get his ass whooped, and you're about to meet Jackie, Constance, and Priscilla, and The Narrator soon!!


End file.
